The Best Thing Since Agege Bread

And even jollof rice

“We listen, we don’t judge: Lord Whistledown edition”.

I’ll go first. (Tell me yours in the comments.)

Guys, I love bread. My relationship with bread is stronger than some people’s relationships—all my exes can testify. 🌚

To give context, I can survive on bread for weeks—actually, I have, but you’re not allowed to judge. 🙃

Dearest Reader, ‘Tis I, Lord Victor Whistledown of House PAADC. First of his name. Courier of Gossips. Two ears on my head, two thousand on the street.

I genuinely think that bread, in any form, is one of man’s best inventions. So when people say that they’ve found “the best thing since sliced bread”, I always wonder: HOW ON EARTH COULD THAT BE POSSIBLE???

But I found the story behind it, and I like to yap, so I’ll tell you.

Picture this:

It’s the early 1900s. Bread was everywhere like Temu ads, only that people actually wanted it. The demand for bread was increasing like fuel price, but like every superhero, bread had one weakness: it was baked in loaves.

To toast it, you had to go through the manual stress of slicing a whole loaf. But no matter how accurate you were, some loaves were either too soft or too strong to slice.

Humanity enjoyed bread with this single flaw like an iPhone with a weak battery for many years. Families had irregularly sliced bread at the breakfast table and even knives were beginning to grumble.

One morning, Otto Frederick Rohwedder woke up in Iowa and decided he had had enough. He decided to make bread great again.

He worked tirelessly, perfecting a machine that would bring structure and order to the bread universe (🌚). And in 1928, the first-ever bread-slicing machine was born.

No more crooked slices. No more bread tearing into jagged crumbs. Otto had changed the destiny of breakfast as we knew it.

This single invention revolutionized the bread industry. The demand for bread skyrocketed and bread prices followed closely behind. The “bread craze” was so seismic, the government tried to ban sliced bread. Who does that?

But you can’t stop greatness, can you? 🙂‍↔️

Otto’s invention made it easy to cut bread into uniform, thinner slices. People could now enjoy soft loaves because they were no longer difficult to cut and people were eating more bread simply because “they could easily reach for another slice.”

See this comment from a 1943 New York Times paper:

"I should like to let you know how important sliced bread is to the morale and saneness of a household. My husband and four children are all in a rush during and after breakfast. Without ready-sliced bread I must do the slicing for toast - two pieces for each one - that's ten. For their lunches I must cut by hand at least twenty slices, for two sandwiches apiece. Afterward I make my own toast. Twenty-two slices of bread to be cut in a hurry!"

The invention of the bread-slicing machine—and by extension, sliced bread—became so revolutionary and because of this, whenever there's a new invention (chatGPT), product (iPhone), or concept (Afrobeat), people say it’s the best thing since sliced bread.

Now you understand the story behind the saying. You’re welcome. 😊

But other than my love for bread, why did I tell you this story?

Because just like sliced bread revolutionized kitchens everywhere in the 1900s, this year’s PAADC Grand Finale will revolutionize innovation in Nigeria for years to come.

So, will I see you there?

If yes, then you should know that there have been some changes to the event’s details. Some of you already know this, but ICYMI:

TLDR:

The Grand Finale will now be held by 9AM on Saturday, 11th January, 2025. The event will also be fully virtual and streamed live on PAADC’s YouTube channel.

The theme remains the same: Creative Disruption: The Future of Innovation. 💚

As stated in the press release, the change in the event details was a difficult decision for the team at PAADC. However, there are ongoing renovations in some UNILAG hostels, and the school has transitioned to online classes—meaning that most people will be unable to physically attend the Grand Finale.

I know this isn’t the kind of news you’d love to hear two weeks before the initial date. I'm as downcast as you are, but there’s a silver lining:

Going virtual means more people can attend from anywhere in the world! 🤩

And this makes it even easier for you and anyone interested to interact directly with some of the sharpest minds and boldest thinkers in the country—students, industry professionals, and future tech moguls all gathered in one place.

A virtual room where greatness is birthed, witnessed, and celebrated.

Like sliced bread, the impact of this competition will echo for years to come.

And wouldn’t it be glorious to say “I was there when it all happened”? 🧏

Besides, there will be a lot of fun activities at the Grand Finale.

Yesterday, I overheard a conversation where some people were speaking about a raffle draw with several gifts.

Don’t miss your chance to join in the fun. Registering for the event gives you a raffle spot. So, get your ticket here before it’s too late!

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Welcome back.

By the way, the PAADC’s event Merch is now officially sold out!

So if you didn't get it before, I sympathize with you right now. 😞

But that still doesn't stop you from being part of this life-changing event—the Grand Finale.

Finally, to close this issue, I’ve decided to start a fun new trend:

Is there something you believe is even better than sliced bread?

Tell me your funniest and most creative suggestions—either in the comments or in the publicity community—and I’ll feature the best one in the next issue. 😉

Signing out,

Your humble Agege breadvocate,

Lord Victor Whistledown.